Published August 30, 2011
(Not sure if I was right to put this under Dramatic Poetry...just had to get this rant out of my head)
Feedback always welcome.
It's a myth that cat's have nine lives,
But it's a reality that we only have one.
One opportunity to not be passed up.
Tomorrow will never come,
because we always live for today.
The beginning and the end is in the same moment.
To actually take advantage of that moment is a rarity.
A momentary realization at best, but never everlasting.
The complexity of time will never be captured.
But let it be known there's only one life.
This moment encompasses all.
Initiative in this moment reacts as a ripple effect for the next to come.
A chain reaction alters the moment in the best of ways,
or falls into the well of diminishing returns.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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139,505 Literary Works • 672,592 Reviews
lol If you mean it didn't rhyme when you said it wasn't "Poetic," it wasn't supposed to lol. The rhyming in the beginning just happened. But it is still a poem hehe. Thanks for your feedback.
Happy Writing!
I really liked this, but it didn't feel all that poetic to me. the first stanza did, and the second was okay. However, all in all, it felt like prose just broken up into some stanzas and lines. I know other people disagree, but I think you need some kind of rhythm. Not saying it has to be iambic or any of that, it just needs to sound... almost musical. And, this didn't. It did feel just like someone talking. What you have is good- don't get me wrong. But I think you should work on it. try to make it more poetic, or ditch the poem idea and make it into an artical, a story kind of thing. If you decide to do that, add more detail, more feeling! Anyway, I hope I was a bit of help. Keep writing.
This was crazy. Sort of the ultimate mind testness. I dunno why, it just seemed really trippy to me lol. But this was really neat, I loved how you described a moment. And just everything in general. Usually my reviews are a bit more lengthy, but seeing as I'm beat for the day, I'm going to keep it pretty short. That and I really have nothing but praise for this. Nicely done =]